Goodbye

“Hurry up Kruti, you are late again!” her mother called and Kruti came running, her flowery bag pack ridding high on her shoulder. Just washed hairs annoying her, she grabbed a piece of sandwich and dashed towards the elevator, leaving her mother annoyed. She was so preoccupied with calculating the time left to catch bus and eating her sandwich, that she didn’t even realized, there He was, staring at her. And all of sudden, their eyes met. “How can somebody look so mysterious. I guess this is because of his eyes or because of his looks”, her thinking process was interrupted, as the elevator reached ground floor. He just said, “After you”. She blushed, but the sudden realization of missing bus, made her leave all delicacies behind and she ran and yes, she didn’t miss her bus. “Hello madame, any updates on your application?” asked Sandhya, her best friend. “No yaar, just waiting for the letter”, Kruti wanted to talk about the Oh-so-mysterious-intelligent-looking guy, but then dropped the idea, and continued, “I just wish I get admission for the PG programme and get a chance to live life on my own”. “Won’t u miss your parents and Me?” asked Sandhya and Kruti just smiled.

Now, it was a daily routine to meet Mr. Oh-so-mysterious-intelligent-looking everyday in the elevator, but neither of them volunteered to talk. But yes, he always used to make it a point to let Kruti go first. Long live chivalry!

Exams were over, and Kruti days were marked for so many activities, sleeping, watching television, talking on phone with Sandhya, listening to her mom nagging. Just one fine morning, her dad asked her to get up, and she was just so sleepy. “The letter has come, U got admission dear!”. She thought, she is dreaming, but oh yes, it was for real. She was just so so happy.

Next few days just flew away while getting the paper work done, shopping, meeting friends and what not. All the while, she just wanted to meet Mr. Oh-so-mysterious-intelligent-looking once. But all the hopes were in vain.

Finally, all set to go to taste life on her own, she told her parents not to come to the airport with her. It would be really difficult for her to say bye to them. While sitting in the cab, she was watching the housing society, which has been her home, since the time she opened her eyes. And all of a sudden, she saw HIM, jogging! It was as if God was listening to her prayers. She looked at Him, their eyes met. Her eyes were sparkling and She just waved him bye with her brightest smile.

I wanted to post something...

Something, anything....

But then I search...

And I find...

There is no sense of humour left in me....

Not even sense of emotions...

And I search again.....

Only to find....

Sense of Void !!!

So, when do you know, its love ?- Part II

In an earlier post, dated July, 08 So, when do you know, its love ?, I questioned, that when do you know, its love or something else. After a gap of about 1.5 year and some serious thinking( ;), I do THINK some time), I came up with the answer. This is just what I think the answer could be. Do let me know ur views. So, here it goes:

• When u fight bitterly with the person you love and the person is quite sad and all. And one look at their face and u feel a strange pain in the left side of ur chest, where they say the heart is pumping, quite literally.(I know, this is too filmy ;), but I felt it)
• When you and your beloved had a major disagreement over an issue and u guys are avoiding further talks. U search ur phone book, to talk ur heart out to some other person. But, then u find no one, with whom u want to talk. And deep down, u know, the only person, who can provide u some comfort is the person u love.(I guess, many of us would have experienced this)
• When u feel like doing or planning something special for the person u love, but try not to do the same. As u question when was it, when S/he has planned something special for u. And end up doing things u have planned, just to see a smile on ur beloved's  face.
• When u try to think and act logically about the relationship, but end up doing what the heart wants.

Well, this is what I feel, the answer could be. So, ur  turn, tell me, so when do you know its love?

If Only....

“Dil ki yahi khata hain,

Dil ko nahi pata hain,

Ki dil chahta hain kya…..”

If only life would have been a book written with pencil and we could go back to chapters and erase things.

If only life would have been a mathematical problem and we could change variables and values and get a totally different result.

If only life would have been a word document and we could have done Ctlr-Z and typed new text.

If only life would have been a road with U-Turns and we could just go back and take a different road.

But, this is just not possible, because life seems to be story written on stone. A road that just allows us to move ahead without any U-turns. And what all we get in life is based on decisions we take, choices we make or is it the option we left behind while taking a decision. I get reminded of Charlie’s dialogues in “Kaminey” (Ya, I am too filmy!), which translates into…

“In life, fate doesn’t depend on the choices we make, but the options we leave behind.”

Songs Aaj Kal

Life is a medley of different phases. And these days I am enjoying being a student again. Gone are the days, when I was privileged enough to travel by company shuttles. Now days, traveling to college require me to travel by public transport. Everyday, I travel with so many people, and don’t know a single one of them. Reminds me of the gazal by Jagjit Singh, “Har taraf Adami, beshumar adami…”. So, I generally take radio’s refuge to make the travel interesting. And the wonderful part of it is, every now and then, some song comes up which have some memories woven to it or some song which I simply like. When a song like “ Yeh dooriyan..” starts playing, I somehow feel the pain of being away from people you love so much. One song that simply amazes me is “Tune jo naa kaha…Khamakha…”. It is supposedly a sad song, but then why most of the people I know, like it. Is it like deep down, we can relate to it, for some reasons, we do not even want to explain ourselves.

The other day, a gazal from Umrao Jaan, “Zindagi jab bhi teri” came up. And I got reminded of college days. A dear friend of mine, liked this song for some special reason and could not get it. And one day, it started playing on Vivid Bharti and I recorded it for her. Then there is one song “Mora Saayian mose bole naa” about which me and a friend had long discussion over lunch. So, when this song came up, the first thing that came to my mind, was the urge to call my friend. They always say, you should move ahead in life. But what about all the good things you had to leave behind in this so-called process of moving ahead.

Life!

For past seven years, most of the times, I have been traveling alone. Whenever I travel, I feel, life is stagnant and all I can do is enjoy it for a while. These times are more like some moments stolen from so-called busy life. Travelling provides an opportunity to think, without any interruption. As if I have got an opportunity to assess my life.
And once, during these “thinking-Spree”, I was debating on an idea. How should one lead His/Her life? What is the best out of two- To live it according to your loved ones or to lead your life like a vagabound cloud according to your own whims and fancies?
Most of the people, I met support the first option. And arguments in favour of are like, If you live life according to your loved ones’ wishes, you will not be alone. But then, what do we mean by “being lonely”. And here I am not asking for the literal meaning. Well, there have been times, when I was physically alone, but I was happy. I was not feeling lonely. But then there have been times, when I was surrounded by people, but there was not a single a person, with whom I can share what I am feeling. I believe at that time I was lonely, even in the crowd. So, what one gets, by living life for his/her loved ones happiness and giving up one’s own wishes in process. Don’t we live in illusion of SACRFISING our lives for people we love. I believe it is better to live our live according to our wishes and being happy. Because, I learnt one important lesson from life, if you do hundred favours for anyone but refuse for one task, then all those hundred deeds will be washed away by that one denial. Here, when I say, that one should live life according to one’s wishes, it doesn’t means, I am preaching to shy away from our responsibilities. Anyways, All your views are welcomed :)

Customs, wastoms...Hai Rabba!

[Disclaimer: This post is not meant to hurt anybody’s religious beliefs or practices. I am just echoing out my personal belief on various religious practices and customs.]

For past few months, I have been observing that people follow so many customs. And they will also tell you that there is a reason behind following them. The reason can be as simple as “If you don’t follow this, all your good deeds will be in vain (You will loose all the “punya” you have gathered)”, “If you don’t follow this, you will go to hell after death (As if I care!), “If you don’t follow this, you will reborn as cat/dog”.
Now all the while I have been thinking, that here I am not certain what next moment has for me, so how can I plan about my so-called-life-after-death or so-called-rebirth. All I learnt through 25 years of my life is that one should pray with a pure heart. So, I have never been a follower of customs and all. I believe God is there everywhere and I don’t think that will not accept flowers or sweets, if I offer them with left hand. If God is Almighty and knows everything, then, why will he listen my prayers only in form of Sanskrit slokahs and why will he not pay heeds to them, if I feel like praying in my mother tongue.
Now, some of you may feel of which era she is talking about. But believe me; this happens in today’s world and that too in the upper-middle-class or middle-class families.
There might be others who might brand me as maverick, go ahead. But, I will always be, what I am. I may listen to people out of respect, but my basic beliefs will always remain intact.